ON CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

One of the many criticisms that we Traditionalist Roman Catholics have to endure is that we are called rigid, fanatic, uncompromising and opposed to any change at all. In fact, those critics tell us that the very rule of life and of nature is change. We are told that if you do not change then you are dead; really? Is the very law of life and nature change? It most certainly is not! God and nature do not change. God’s truth never changes nor does the order of nature which He ordained. The light of day always follows the night and the coldest and most barren winter is always followed by the spring. The immutability of nature’s laws also applies to all other aspects of human conduct. Human knowledge and human science certainly changes, and develops and increases, but certain basic laws never change. Imagine if you walked into the bank one day and the teller told you 2 dollars plus 2 dollars no longer equaled 4 dollars. What havoc would that cause? He, who would try to tell people that those basic laws better change or at least be updated, is not helping in the development of civilization and culture. Rather, they are undermining it, to the point of eventually and inevitably destroying it.

If never changing fundamentals are the basis of natural life and true human civilization, that same pattern manifests itself even more so in the supernatural sphere, the sphere of our relations with God, the sphere of religion. The word religion comes from the Latin word religio-religare, meaning to bind or to tie. Religion therefore is the sum total of our relationship with God.

Let no one tell you that the old ways which the Church of Christ at one time taught was the only correct one, are now to be replaced by a new way. Let no ecumaniac of today tell you that all religions are equally good and are in reality simply different ways of worshipping the same God, different roads to the same destination. If anyone tells you this they are what Our Lord Himself called “false prophets” to be steered clear of and avoided and someone whom we should have nothing to do with.

Such statements contradict the very essence of logical thinking. How can religions, which contradict each other as manifestly as religions do, be equally as good? If I were to say that today was Sunday, August 3^rd and you were to say that it was actually Monday, June 15^th, how could we both be right and be a reliable source of information?

More importantly, such statements not only make a mockery out of logical reasoning, but also blasphemously ridicule Jesus Christ who clearly stated; “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life…and not everyone who says “Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom of Heaven” and “no one can reach the Father in Heaven except through Me” and “I can only be found in that Church that teaches all…everything that I did teach you…”

Just as changing the laws of nature would undermine and ultimately destroy it, so it is with the sphere of our relations with God, and the Church founded by Christ, the one true religion and one true Church, the Roman Catholic Church.

+ + + FROM VARIOUS SERMONS OF FR. DEPAUW + + +

From the beginning of the world it was Divinely ordained that things instituted by God and by nature should prove to be more profitable and beneficial if they remained unchanged in their full integrity. God, the Maker of all things, knowing what was good for the institution and preservation of each of His creatures, so ordered them by His will and mind that each might adequately attain the end for which it was made. And if the rashness and wickedness of human beings would venture to change or disturb that order and the end ordained by God, it would be hurtful. They would cease to be profitable because they would lose the power of benefiting which God intended and because God would choose to inflict punishment on the pride and audacity of humans…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

In the inspired writings of St. Paul, we are given a very clear message. Human beings, depending on how they will use their God given free will, will spend their lives here on earth either as slaves of sin or as children of grace. Either they will spend their lives possessed by Satan, or they will spend their lives possessed by God. Once you have found the secret of how to live as a child of God and once you have found the institution that provides you with the Divine power and strength needed to live as child of God, then you have found the road leading to Heaven. That Divine power and strength comes only through the true Sacrifice of the Mass and true Sacraments, which only the Roman Catholic Church has. We must be on guard 24 hours a day not to let anyone convince us that our road to Heaven, which was the only correct one which the Church of Christ believed in for all these hundreds of years, is now another road or that all roads lead to Heaven…(from various sermons of Fr. DePauw)

Christ the Savior of human beings, came to carry out on earth, by Himself and in Himself, to Divinely renew the world which was sinking into decline or as St. Paul puts it; “to re-establish all things in Christ that are in heaven and on earth.” He healed the wounds which the sin of our first father had inflicted on the human race. He brought all human beings, by nature in a fallen state, into favor with God…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

Christ arranged seven ways to help secure the means to take care of our spiritual kingdom by instituting the seven sacraments. The sacraments are the means of sanctification instituted by Christ, so that we can reach our final destination in Heaven. Marriage was raised by Christ to the dignity of a sacrament thereby adding to the natural holiness of marriage and even deeper meaning and higher beauty for us. Since marriage is one of the means of sanctification and the very channel by which married Catholics can reach Heaven, its custody is in the hands of the Church. Entrusting to His Church the continuance of the work He started here on earth, accordingly, the Church has the right and the obligation to preserve so sacred an institution as the sacrament of marriage from any possible profanation or abuse.

Since the Sacrament of Matrimony concerns itself with the propagation of the human race and the core unit of society, the family, any attempt at change by human beings to the order established and intended by God would give rise to pernicious evils of the highest degree both to the salvation of souls and to the safety of the commonwealth. The Church therefore has through the centuries ensured that marriage remain conformable to nature and in accordance with the counsels of God…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

The Church, to whom God has entrusted the defense of the integrity and purity of morals, standing straight and unwavering in the midst of the moral ruin which surrounds her, has uninterruptedly through the ages preserved the chastity of the nuptial union from any foul stain and offense against the law of God and of nature…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

The origin of marriage is well known and cannot be doubted by anyone. God, on the sixth day of creation having made man from the slime of the earth and breathed into his face the breath of life, gave him a companion, whom He miraculously took from the side of Adam when he was locked in sleep. God in His most far reaching foresight decreed that this husband and wife should be the natural beginning of the human race, from whom it might be propagated and preserved by an unfailing fruitfulness throughout all future time. This union, between one man and one woman, manifested from the beginning, two most excellent properties, unity and perpetuity. From the Gospel we see clearly that this doctrine was declared and openly confirmed by the Divine authority of Jesus Christ. He bore witness to the Jews and to His Apostles that marriage, from its institution, should exist between two persons only, that is, between one man and one woman and that of two they are made one flesh. Christ instructed that the marriage bond is by the will of God so closely and strongly made fast, that no human being may dissolve it or render it asunder. He did so with the following words: “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they two shall be in one flesh. What, therefore, God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.”…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

Through the course of time in the Old Law, this excellent and pre-eminent form of marriage began to be corrupted in various degrees and eventually to disappear among the non believers. Even God’s chosen people, the Jewish race, began to be influenced and confused by those corruptions. Eventually so much so, that it became a common custom among them for it to be lawful for a man to have more than one wife. Even Moses, who for reasons of “the hardness of their heart,” gave into their desires, and permitted them to put away their wives thereby opening the way to divorce…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

The result of these corruptions of God’s law on marriage led to all sorts of error and the most shameful lusts. All nations appeared to have forgotten the true notion and origin of marriage, and as a result, enacted laws governing its conduct. Solemn rites were invented by law givers and things came to such a point, that the permission or refusal to marry depended totally on the will of the heads of State. Divorce and the plurality of husbands and wives became rampant and there was great confusion as to the mutual rights of husbands and wives. The resulting relaxation of the nuptial bond led to unbridled lust without any punishment. Nothing was more disgraceful then the sinking of the dignity of the wife, who kept by a licentious husband, became nothing more that an object to gratify his passions and a machine for the production of offspring. Without any shame whatsoever, girls of the age of marriage were bought and sold like merchandise. Powers were even given to husbands to inflict capital punishment on their wives. And fathers were permitted to make or unmake the marriages of their children according to their whims even to include the power of life and death…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

But Heaven provided a solution and a remedy to the defilement of marriage. Jesus Christ, who restored human dignity and who perfected the Mosaic law, showed great concern in His early ministry for the question of marriage. In fact His first miracle was performed at a wedding feast in Cana thereby ennobling the marriage by His very presence. From that day forward, it appeared as if a new holiness had been conferred on human marriages. Later during His earthly life, He condemned the practice of the Jewish people in permitting bills of divorce and in the keeping of a plurality of wives. As Supreme Lawgiver, He decreed the following concerning husbands and wives; “I say to you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery; and he that shall marry her that is put away committeth adultery.”…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

However, what was decreed and constituted with respect to marriage by the authority of God has been more fully and more clearly handed down to us by tradition and the inspired written Word through the Apostles. From the Apostles are to be found the doctrines which the holy Fathers, the Councils, and the Tradition of the Universal Church have always taught. That is that Christ raised marriage to the dignity of a sacrament giving to husbands and wives, guarded and strengthened by the heavenly grace which His merits gained for them, the power to attain holiness in the married state. By raising marriage to the dignity of a sacrament, Christ also sought to make marriage an example of the mystical union between Himself and His Church. Christ not only perfected that love which is according to nature, but also made the naturally indivisible union of one man with one woman far more perfect through the bond of heavenly love. St Paul commands; “Husbands love your wives, as Christ also loved the Church and delivered Himself up for it, that He might sanctify it …this is a great sacrament; but I speak in Christ and in the Church.” …(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

It is also through the teaching of the Apostles, that we learn that according to the command of Christ, the unity of marriage and its perpetual indissolubility is to be holy and inviolable without exception. St. Paul tells us; “to them that are married, not I, but the Lord commandeth that the wife depart not from her husband; and if she depart, that she remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband…a woman is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband die, she is at liberty.” It is for these reasons St. Paul says that marriage is a great sacrament, honorable in all, holy and pure and to be reverenced as a type and symbol of most high mysteries…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

The mutual duties of husband and wife in Christian marriage have been defined and their rights accurately established. They are bound, namely to have such feelings for one another as to cherish always very great mutual love, to be ever faithful to their marriage vow, and to give one another an unfailing and unselfish help. Using the guide of Christ and His Church, the husband in Christian marriage represents Christ and the wife represents the Church. Just as the Church is subject to Christ, so too, the wife is subject to her husband. That does not mean that the wife is to be treated as a servant of the husband or as a second class person. St. Jerome writes that Christian marriage abolished the old distinctions between slaves and free born men and women. Christian marriage made the rights of husbands and wives equal. In St. Jerome’s words: “with us that which is unlawful for women is unlawful for men also and the same restraint is imposed on equal conditions.” The Church has always taught that the husband is the head of the family and the mother is the heart and together and equally they run the family. In Christian marriage the dignity of women was asserted and assured by firmly establishing reciprocal affection and the interchange of duties and forbidding capital punishment for adultery or for the husband to lustfully and shamelessly violate his pledged faith…(Arcanum, Leo XIII and various sermons, Fr. DePauw)

By protecting the unity and indissolubility of the marriage union, the Church has given women a true emancipation and an exalted liberty which belongs to a Christian woman and wife preventing the debasing of the womanly character and the dignity of motherhood…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI) And it is a dismal error to believe that one can maintain, protect and improve the culture of women and raise their status without providing the unity and indissolubility of marriage as a basis …(Allocution, Pius XII, April 29, 1942)

St. Augustine, Doctor of the Church, says that God has attached three blessings to true matrimony. They are offspring, conjugal fidelity and the sacrament. St. Augustine tells us that the child holds the first place among the blessings of marriage, because the Creator in His goodness wishes to use human beings as His helpers in the propagation of life and taught this when instituting marriage telling our first parents: “Increase and multiply, and fill the earth.” But God wishes humans not just to be born and to fill the earth, He also wishes them to know Him and love Him and finally enjoy Him forever in Heaven. For this end, man is raised by God in a marvelous way to the supernatural order which surpasses anything that the eye had seen, the ear had heard, or that has entered the heart…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

There are those, having boldness, who consider having children a disagreeable burden of matrimony. They say that this should be carefully avoided by married people, not through virtuous continence which Christian law permits in matrimony when both parties consent, but by frustrating the marriage act. They justify this criminal abuse on the grounds that they are weary of children and wish to gratify their desires without their consequent burden. Others say that having children causes difficulties on the part of the mother or on family circumstances. But no reason, no matter how grave, maybe put forward by which anything intrinsically against nature may become conformable to nature and morally good. Since the conjugal act is destined primarily by nature for the begetting of children, those who in exercising it deliberately frustrate its natural power and purpose, sin against nature and commit a deed which is shameful and intrinsically vicious…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

The Church has always called it a “very grave crime” with regard to the taking of the life of the child hidden in the mother’s womb. The Church has always stood with firm opposition to laws of the state which permit the killing of the unborn and public authorities providing aid for such death dealing operations. And while the Church may pity the mother whose health and even life maybe gravely imperiled in the duty allotted to her by nature, it is not sufficient reason for in anyway excusing the direct murder of the innocent. Whether this murder of the innocent is inflicted on the mother or on the child, it is against the precept of God and the law of nature; “ Thou shalt not kill”. The life of each is equally sacred, and no one has the power, not even the public authority to detroy it…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

Christian parents must understand that they are destined not just to propagate and preserve the human race on earth, but must educate their offspring to be worshippers of the true God and to become members of the Church of Christ so that they maybe fellow citizens of the saints and members of God’s household through Baptism, making them partakers of immortal life and heirs to that eternal glory which we all aspire to…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI) That is why next to taking care of the bodies of their children, there is no greater responsibility before God of Catholic parents then to take care of the immortal souls of their children…(From various sermons of Fr. DePauw)

With the power of begetting children, God has also entrusted to the parents the power and right to educate them. By both the laws of nature and of God, this right and duty of educating their children belongs in the first place to those who began the work of nature by giving them birth and they are forbidden to leave unfinished this work so as to expose it to certain ruin…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

The second blessing of matrimony is the blessing of conjugal honor which consists in the mutual fidelity of the spouses in fulfilling the marriage contract. What belongs to one of the parties by reason of the marriage contract and sanctioned by Divine law, may not be denied to them or permitted to any third person. Nor may there be conceded to one of the parties anything which is contrary to the rights and laws of God and entirely opposed to matrimonial faith. For matrimonial faith demands that husband and wife be joined in an especially holy and pure love, not as adulterers love each other, but as Christ loved the Church. The holy and pure love spoken about here is not based on the passing lust of the moment, nor just of pleasing words only, but in the deep attachment of the heart which is expressed in action, since love is proved through deeds….(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

In this bond of love and mutual molding of husband and wife there is a determined effort on the part of both to in a very real sense perfect each other and a blending of life as a whole. True Christian fidelity in marriage is even more exacting and more delicate then strict natural fidelity because it extends its control even further by ruling and reigning as a loving sovereign over the entire expanse of love’s royal domain. What is fidelity at all, if not the religious respect of the gift which each of the spouses has given to the other, the gift of self, gift of body, of mind, and of heart for the course of an entire life, with no reservation other than the sacred rights of God…(Allocution of Pius XII, October 21, 1942)

Also in this bond of love, there is what St. Augustine calls an “order of love”. This order includes both the primacy of the husband with regard to the wife and children and the ready subjection of the wife and her willing obedience; “Let women be subject to their husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ is the head of the Church.”

This subjection does not deny or take away the liberty which fully belongs to the woman both in view of her dignity as a human person and in view of her most noble office as wife and mother and companion. Nor does it mean that she must obey her husbands every request if it is not in harmony with right reason or with the dignity due to the wife, nor place her in the category of being considered a minor or someone who lacks mature judgment and is ignorant of human affairs. This bond of love also forbids that in this body which is the family, that the heart which is the mother and wife, be separated from the head, because such a separation would cause great detriment to the whole body placing it in the proximate danger of ruin. For as the man is the head and occupies the chief place of ruling, the woman is the heart and ought to claim for herself the chief place in love. This structure of the family and its fundamental law, established and confirmed by God, must always and everywhere be maintained intact…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI.)

The third blessing of matrimony is the sacrament. It is obvious that there is a certain sacredness and religious character attached to even the purely natural union of man and woman. Since it has God for its author and has been even from the beginning a foreshadowing of the Incarnation of the Word of God, the sacredness of marriage which is intimately connected with religion and all that is holy has an even higher and nobler purpose. That purpose, by the command of Christ, not only looks to the propagation of the human race, but to the bringing forth of children for the Church, fellow citizens with the saints and the domestics of God so that a people might be born and brought up for the worship and religion of the true God and our Savior Jesus Christ.

…(Arcanum, Leo XIII; Casti Connubii, Pius XI)…

This dignity which comes from the sacrament raising Christian marriage to such a level, giving marriage a religious character with its sublime signification of grace and the union between Christ and the Church, requires that all those about to marry should show a holy reverence toward it and zealously endeavor to make their marriage approach as nearly as possible to the archetype of Christ and the Church.

The Church has always tried to dissuade her children from rashly and heedlessly contracting mix marriages for very sound reasons, the most important one being the possibility of danger to their very eternal salvation. Care has been cautioned against Catholics easily entering into marriage with those who are not Catholic because when the minds do not agree as to the observances of religion, it is scarcely possible to hope for agreement in other things…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

The position of the Church with regard to mixed marriages is evident in many of her documents, all of which are summed up in the Code of Canon Law of 1917: “Everywhere and with greatest strictness the Church forbids marriages between baptized persons, one of whom is a Catholic and the other a member of a schismatical or heretical sect.” In those rare cases where the Church granted a dispensation from these strict laws, it was only done provided that the Divine law remains intact and the dangers mentioned above are provided against by suitable safeguards thereby making it unlikely that the Catholic party will not suffer some detriment from such a marriage. For where there exists diversity of mind, truth and feeling, the bond of union of mind and heart is likely to be broken or at least weakened. From this comes the danger that the love of man and wife grows cold and the peace and happiness of family life, resting as it does on the union of hearts, is destroyed…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

This diversity of mind, truth and feeling has given rise to the increasing facility of divorce which is an obstacle to the restoration of marriage to that state of perfection which the Divine Redeemer willed it should possess. Advocates of divorce day by day continue to attack the indissolubility of the marriage bond stating that its lawfulness must be recognized and that antiquated laws should give way to new and humane legislation. Many and varied are the grounds put forward for divorce. Advocates of divorce strive to prove their contentions regarding the grounds for divorce. They maintain that it is good for either party. That the one who is innocent should have the right to separate from the guilty or that guilty should be withdrawn from a union which is unpleasing to him or her and against their will. They also state that it is for the good of the children who either would be deprived of a proper education or be too easily affected by the discords and shortcomings of the parents and drawn from a path of virtue. Another reason these advocates give for divorce is that they say that for the common good of society these marriages should be completely dissolved. Others simply state that marriage, being a private contract is like other private contracts and is to be left to the consent and good pleasure of both parties and therefore it can be dissolved for any reason whatsoever…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

Opposed to all these reckless opinions, stands the unalterable law of God, fully confirmed by Christ. It is a law that can never be deprived of its force by the decrees of men, the ideas of a people or the will of any legislator. That law is: “What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.” And if anyone acting contrary to this law shall have put asunder, their action is null and void and the consequences remains as Christ Himself has explicitly confirmed: “Everyone that putteth away his wife and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.” Moreover these words refer to every kind of marriage even that which is natural and legitmate, only because the indissolubility by which the loosening of the bond is once and for all removed from the whim of the parties and from every secular power, is a property of every true marriage…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

The Council of Trent through solemn pronouncement and under the stigma of anathema, condemned those errors used to promote divorce. “ If anyone should say that on account of heresy or the hardships of co-habitation or a deliberate abuse of one party by the other, the marriage tie may be loosened, let him be anathema.” And again the Council of Trent: “ If anyone should say that the Church errs in having taught or in teaching that, according to the teaching of the Gospel and the Apostles, the bond of marriage cannot be loosed because of the sin of adultery of either party; or that neither party, even though he be innocent, having given no cause for the sin of adultery, can contract another marriage during the lifetime of the other; and that he commits adultery who marries another after putting away his adulterous wife, and likewise that she commits adultery who puts away her husband and marries another: let him be anathema.” …(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

Anyone who believes or promotes riding a middle course or that something should be conceded in our times as regards certain precepts of the Divine and natural law is more or less knowingly an emissary of the great enemy (Satan) who is ever seeking to sow cockle among the wheat…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

The Council of Trent also condemned anyone who would say that there are precepts of God which are impossible for the just to observe. God does not ask the impossible. But by His commands instructs us to do what we are able and to pray for what we are not able, so that He may help us…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

If the Church has not erred and does not err in teaching this, and consequently it is certain that the bond of marriage cannot be loosed even on account of the sin of adultery, it is evident that all the other weaker excuses that can be and are usually brought forward, are of no value whatsoever. And the objections brought against the firmness of the marriage bond are easily answered. For in certain circumstances, imperfect separation of the parties is allowed, but the bond is not severed. Should matters reach a point where it seems impossible for the married couple to live together any longer, then the Church allows them to live apart but the marriage bond is never broken and lasts until death. In these cases the Church would strive to find remedies to soften the evils of this separation and would never cease to try and bring about reconciliation. Their would be calm and quiet constancy in marriage, if married people would gather strength and life from the virtue of religion which gives us resolution and fortitude enabling us to bear tranquilly and even gladly the trials of this state…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

This separation which the Church herself permits, and expressly mentions in her Canon Law in those canons which deal with the separation of the parties as to marital relationship and co-habitation, removes all the alleged inconveniences and dangers. It will be for sacred law and to some extent also the civil law, in so far as civil matters are affected, to lay out the conditions and the methods and precautions to be taken in such cases in order to safeguard the education of the children, the well being of the family, and to remove all those evils which threaten married persons, the children and the State…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

Let no one be deceived by the distinction which some civil jurists make by severing the matrimonial contract from the sacrament with the intent to hand over the contract to the power and will of rulers of the State, while setting apart for a later time questions concerning the sacrament of the Church. In Christian marriage, such a separation cannot be made as the marriage contract is inseparable from the sacrament and for that reason the contract cannot be true and legitimate without being a sacrament as well. For Christ Our Lord added to marriage the dignity of sacrament, but marriage is the contract itself, whenever the contract is lawfully concluded. But being a sacrament it is a holy sign which gives grace showing forth an image of the mystical nuptials of Christ with Church. Nothing can be further from the truth than to say the sacrament is a certain added ornament, or outward endowment which can be separated and torn away at the will of human beings…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

Those who deny that marriage is holy and who relegate it stripped of all holiness among the class of common secular things, uproot the foundations of nature by not only resisting the designs of Providence, but in so far as they can, destroy the order that God has ordained. No one therefore should wonder if from such insane and impious attempts there spring up a crop of evils pernicious in the highest degree both to the salvation of souls and to the safety of the commonwealth…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

Of what advantage is it if a state can institute nuptials estranged from the Christian religion, which is the mother of all good? When the Christian religion is repudiated, marriage sinks, of necessity, into the slavery of human beings vicious nature and vile passions and finds but little protection in the help of natural goodness. A torrent of evil has flowed from this source not only into private families but also into States. For the salutary fear of God being removed and there no longer being the refreshment in toil, which is nowhere more abounding than in the Christian religion, it very often happens as natural consequence, that the mutual services and duties of marriage seem almost unbearable. This leads to a yearning for the loosening of the marriage bond which they believe to be woven by human law and of their own will. Incompatibility of temper or quarrels or violation of the marriage vow then induce them to think that it would be for the best to be set free…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

The evils which flow from divorce are as follows:

(1) Matrimonial contracts are made variable

(2) mutual kindness is weakened

(3) deplorable inducements to unfaithfulness are supplied

(4) harm is done to both the education and training of the children

(5) the seeds of dissension are sown causing the breakup of homes

(6) the dignity of womanhood is lessened and brought low and women run the risk of being deserted after having ministered to the pleasures of men

Since nothing has such power to lay waste to families and destroy the mainstays of civilizations as the corruption of morals, it is easily seen that divorce is the highest degree hostile to the prosperity of families and States. This is because it springs from the depraved morals of the people and opens a way to every kind of evil doing in public and in private life. These evils become especially more dangerous because, once divorce is prevalent in society there will be no restraint powerful enough to keep it within the bounds marked out. With the might of passion, the eagerness for divorce will seize upon the minds of many like a virulent disease or like a flood of water bursting through a barrier…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

Those who show little wisdom in the idea they have formed of the well being of the commonwealth and who think that the inherent character of marriage can be perverted with impunity by disregarding the sanctity of religion and of the sacrament and degrading and dishonoring greater than any heathen laws, will see that their views will not only cause great harm to families but to all public society which will be driven into general confusion and an overthrow of order resulting in a certain destruction of society…Arcanum, Leo XIII)

The supreme pontiffs have throughout history resisted the most powerful among rulers in their threatening demands that divorces carried out by them be confirmed by the Church. Their actions have not only been for the safety of religion but indeed of the entire human race. The Church has always been open to working with the civil authorities to secure the safety of morals and the happiness of families, but has been in many cases falsely accused of hostile intention and accused of violating the civil law. But she makes no decrees in relation to marriage without regard to the state of the body politic and the condition of the general public. But Jesus Christ, the Founder of the Church, willed her power to be distinct from the civil power. He willed each power to be free and unshackled in its own sphere, but with this important condition, that union and concord should be maintained between them and that on those questions which are, though in different ways, of common right and authority, the power of the secular authority should happily and becomingly depend on the other power which has in its charge the interests of heaven. In such an arrangement and with that harmony is found not only the best course of action for each power, but also the most opportune and efficacious method of helping human beings in all that pertains to their earthly life and to their hope of eternal salvation. The intellect of human beings is greatly ennobled by the Christian faith and made better able to shun and banish all error. In like manner, when the civil authority is on friendly terms with the sacred authority of the Church, its dignity is raised, and so long as religion is its guide it will never rule unjustly….(Arcanum, Leo XIII).

Christian marriage was not instituted by the will of man, but from the very beginning, by the authority and command of God. It does not permit the plurality of wives and husbands. Christ, the Author of the New Covenant raised marriage from a rite of nature to be a sacrament and gave His Church legislative and judicial power with the regard to the bond of union. On this point the Church has always urged her priests to carefully instruct the faithful lest their minds be led into error by unsound conclusions of the adversaries of the Church’s power over the marriage bond. …Arcanum, Leo XIII)

In like manner all the faithful ought to understand that if there be any union of a man and a woman among the faithful of Christ which is not a sacrament, such union has not the force and nature of proper marriage. Although it was contracted according to the laws of the State, it is viewed as not more than a rite or custom introduced by the State. The civil law can deal with and decide only those matters which in the civil order spring from marriage and which cannot possibly exist unless there be a true and lawful cause of them, that is the nuptial bond. But no power can dissolve the bond of Christian marriage whenever this has been ratified and consummated. Those husbands and wives who would be united in a second marriage before the first one has been ended by death are guilty of a manifest crime which is adultery…(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

Adultery is a double mortal sin, as it is a sin against chastity, which is purity, and it is also a sin against justice, which is the virtue by which human beings keep the right relations with both God and their fellow human beings. It is a sin against chastity because it is a sin of impurity committed with others, either in deed or in desire, and frustrates the principal purpose of the marital act. It is a sin against justice because it seriously harms conjugal fidelity…(Pastoral Medicine, Fr. DePauw)

Being in a state of mortal sin means one is in complete separation of the soul from God. The bond of charity between the soul and God is broken and sanctifying grace is lost. It is the complete turning away from God and instead the complete turning towards some creature which is chosen in place of God thereby causing a disruption of the created order. The state of punishment which is incurred upon the commission of a mortal sin is one of eternal separation from God. Since God is the end for which all human beings were made and in which alone they find perfect peace and rest, the turning away from this end means the eternal misery and suffering of hell. A person who has the stain of mortal sin on their soul cannot receive Holy Communion as they are not in the state of God’s sanctifying grace…(Pastoral Medicine, Fr. DePauw)

The only way to remove the stain of mortal sin on one’s soul after Baptism has been received, is to receive the Sacrament of Penance, Confession, which undoes the consequences of sin. In order for that confession to be worthy and sincere, the penitent must have repentance for the sin committed otherwise the absolution is useless. When a human being turns from God in committing sin, they must return to God by a detestation of the sin, which means there must be a resolve on the part of the penitent to avoid committing that sin again. If one goes to confession and confesses a sin which they knowingly and fully intend to commit again, they are guilty of an insincere confession, which is a very serious mortal sin of sacrilege…(Pastoral Medicine, Fr. DePauw)

Since Christ Himself has constituted the Church the guardian and teacher of the whole truth concerning religion and moral conduct, it is to her that the faithful should show their obedience and subject their minds and hearts so as to be kept unharmed and free from error and moral corruption. So that they do not deprive themselves of that assistance given by God with such liberal bounty, they ought to show this due obedience not only when the Church defines something with solemn judgment, but also in proper proportion when by the constitutions and decrees of the Holy See, opinions are prescribed and condemned as dangerous or distorted. The Church also urges the faithful to be on guard against overrated independence of private judgment and the false autonomy of human reason. For anyone bearing the name Christian, it is foreign to trust his own mental powers with such pride as to only agree with those things which he can examine from their inner nature. It is also foreign to anyone bearing the name Christian, to imagine that the Church, sent by God to teach and guide all nations, is not conversant with present affairs and circumstances. …(Arcanum, Leo XIII)

It is of no surprise that the same “enlightened experts” who promote and work tirelessly to destroy Christian marriage are the same “enlightened experts” who also work to destroy the Catholic priesthood by calling for an end to priestly celibacy. They use the fallacious argument of “how can a priest deal with matters of marriage when he has never been married?” That argument makes about as much sense as asking how can a doctor treat a disease if he has not had it himself ?...(Various sermons of Fr. DePauw)

Quite to the contrary, a characteristic of all true followers of Christ, lettered or unlettered, is to allow themselves to be guided and led in all things that touch upon faith and morals by the Holy Church of God, through its Supreme Pastor, the Roman Pontiff, who is himself guided by Jesus Christ Our Lord. Since everything must be referred to the law and mind of God, in order to bring about the universal and permanent restoration of marriage, it is indeed of the utmost importance that the faithful should be well instructed concerning matrimony, both by the word of mouth and by the written word. This should not be done in a hasty way or without close attention, but by means of plain and serious arguments so that these truths will strike the intellect and will be deeply engraved on their hearts…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

The Church has always commanded her priests to instruct the faithful on the precepts of Christian marriage. Those studying for the priesthood always had as part of their formal training courses in pastoral medicine so that priests would be equipped with the knowledge to instruct the people correctly on the precepts of marriage and to be able to answer the questions posed to them by married people either in the confessional or through instruction as to whether or not something was opposed to those precepts and was sinful…(from teaching notes of Fr. DePauw on pastoral medicine and the sacrament of Confession)

To the bishops of the whole world, the Church commands them to take care not to spare in their efforts and authority in bringing among the people committed to their guidance that doctrine which may be preserved whole and unadulterated. That doctrine, which Christ the Lord and the apostles, the interpreters of Divine will, have handed down, and which the Catholic Church herself has religiously preserved and commanded to be observed by the faithful of every age. However, even the very best instruction given by the Church will not alone suffice in bringing about once more a conformity of marriage to the law of God. Something more is needed in addition to the education of the mind. That is also a determination of the will on the part of husband and wife to observe the sacred laws of God and of nature with regards to marriage. In spite of what others may depict marriage to be, both husband and wife must resolve to remain faithful to the commandments of God in all things that matrimony demands and always render to each other the assistance of mutual love. And if they should ever feel themselves overburdened by the hardships of married life, let them constantly remember, that they have been sanctified and strengthened for the duties and for the dignity of their married state by a special sacrament, the efficacious power of which, although it does not impress a character, is undying. In the words of St. Robert Bellarmine; “ The sacrament of matrimony …is a sacrament …which not only when it is being conferred, but also whilst it remains, is a sacrament for as long as the married parties are alive, so long is their union a sacrament of Christ and the Church.”…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

In order that the grace of this sacrament may produce its full fruit there is the need of the cooperation of the married parties which consists in their striving to fulfill their duties to the best of their ability and with untiring effort. Just as in the natural order human beings must apply the powers given to them by God with their own toil and diligence that these may exercise their full vigor, so also must married couples diligently and unceasingly use the powers given them by the grace which is laid up in the soul by this sacrament…(Casti Connubii, Pius XI)

Having already made clear that the Church has the supreme power to regulate concerning marriage and a right to make rules concerning marriage and that this right comes from God and from the mission of Our Lord Jesus Christ Who left to His Church complete jurisdiction over all baptized Christians, it would be beneficial now, to review the marriage laws of the Church. At one time all priests were urged to do so by calling the attention of the faithful at least once a year to the sixth commandment of the Church which is: that Catholics must marry according to the laws of the Church.

The Catholic Church recognizes as good and binding, the marriages of two non-Catholics before a justice of the peace or before a Protestant minister or Jewish minister, if the two non-Catholics are free to marry. Should one of these non-Catholics want to become a Catholic and marry a Catholic, the Church will say no, you cannot because you are validly married to that first party.

Since a Catholic marriage is a sacrament, only an official of the Church can witness this sacrament. In other words every Catholic whether you marry another Catholic or marry a non-Catholic, can only validly get married in the presence of a parish priest or his delegate.

Those contemplating marriage are urged to see their proper parish priest, which is the pastor of the church they belong to or his assistants, a month or six weeks before the marriage. This gives time for announcing the marriage bans, for giving instructions to the married couple and for obtaining and conducting the required investigation. Included in this required investigation is questioning by the priest of both parties separately and under oath as to any impediments to the marriage,

(ie ...were either party married previously).

When two Catholics marry, the banns must be announced three times in the parishes of both the bride and the bridegroom. The reason for those announcements is to invite the congregation to inform the priest of any reason they may know of why the couple should not be married and to complete if necessary the information which the priest has obtained in the investigation. If there is any question or doubt in the mind of one of the parties as to the person they intend to marry, they should go at once to the parish priest and he will tell you what can and cannot be done. With the prevalence of divorce a person intending to marry, must absolutely find out whether the person they are keeping company with has been married before. Persons intending to marry should not be careless about this and should question his or her relatives and friends. This is particularly necessary when the couple has not known each other for long, or when the two do not know each others backgrounds.

Before the marriage, the intended bride and groom must both fill out a questionnaire under oath which asks where you were baptized, confirmed, made your first communion and received religious instruction. A baptismal certificate issued within six months of the marriage date must be furnished to prove that you are a baptized Catholic and to establish that you are free to marry. When you are married either in your own parish or in another one, a record of the marriage is entered on your baptismal record. Many bigamous marriages have been prevented in this way by the concern of the Church. If one of the parties is not from the parish and was married previously but their spouse is deceased, they must also furnish a death certificate of the deceased spouse to prove that they are free to marry.

If a dispensation has been granted for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic, the non-Catholic must take some instructions on the teachings of the Church. This is not done to drag the non-Catholic into the Church, but to inform him or her of the Catholic party’s obligations. This includes both parties signing promises that the children will be baptized and educated as Catholics and the non-Catholic will not interfere with the faith of the Catholic party.

The forbidden times for solemnizing marriages are Advent and Lent. Catholics can be married at such times but not with festal rites, the nuptial Mass or any public celebrations of any kind. …(taken from various sermons of Fr. DePauw)

In closing this special edition of “Sounds of Truth and Tradition” on Christian marriage, we would like to print for the first time, the little sermon which every couple who was married at the Ave Maria Chapel was privileged to hear from Fr. De Pauw. We hope that it will enlighten newly married couples as to what their life together should aspire to and remind all married couples, of what a beautiful sacrament matrimony is. It should also remind all traditionalist Roman Catholics, married or not, why we must preserve it with the same vigor that we hold onto the true Sacrifice of the Mass.

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Starting with the first names of the bride and bridegroom;

Today you are about to enter into a union which is most sacred and most serious, a union which was established by God Himself. By this union Almighty God gave to human beings a share in the greatest work of creation, the work of the continuation of the human family. And in this way God sanctified human love and enabled man and woman to help each other live as children of God, by sharing a common life under His fatherly care.

Because God Himself is thus its creator, marriage is of its very nature for all who enter into it a holy institution, requiring of husband and wife a complete and unreserved giving of oneself. But Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Saviour, added to the natural holiness of marriage and even deeper meaning and a higher beauty for us, members of His Church, by raising it to the dignity of a sacrament, the very channel by which married Catholics must and can reach their final destination in Heaven.

The union you are entering today is therefore most sacred and serious, far different from what today’s world depicts marriage to be. This union will bind you together for life in a relationship so close and so intimate, that it will profoundly influence your whole future. That future, with its hopes and disappointments, its successes and its failures, its pleasures and its pains, its joys and its sorrows, is hidden from your eyes. You fully realize that these elements are mingled in every life, and are to be expected in your own. And so, not knowing what is before you, you take each other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death.

These last words taken from the marriage vows are indeed most serious. And it is a beautiful tribute to your faith in each other that, fully recognizing their importance, you are nevertheless willing and ready to pronounce them.

The security and happiness of a marriage depend upon the principle of self sacrifice. Your marriage can only succeed if both of you are willing to completely surrender your individual lives in the interest of that deeper and wider life which you are to have in common. Henceforth, you belong entirely to each other; you will be one in mind, one in heart, and one in affections. And whatever sacrifices you may later on be required to make to preserve this common life, always make them generously. Sacrifice is always difficult, but love can make it easy, and perfect love can make it a joy.

If you build your married life upon that principle, the love with which you join your hands and hearts today, will not fail, but grow deeper and stronger as the years go on and yours will be a happy marriage, a marriage with the greatest measure of earthly happiness that human beings can expect in this vale of tears. The rest is in the hands of God, your Father in Heaven Who pledges you the life long support of His graces in the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony which you are now ready to receive.